The Unity of Essay Written By Students of English Education Program at University of PGRI Adi Buana Surabaya Through â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€� Story
JEELL || Journal of English Education, Linguistics and Literature Volume 4 | Nomor 1 | September 2017 | ISSN: 2356-5446 Penerbit : English Department of STKIP PGRI Jombang Penulis 1: Rikat Eka Prastyawan Penulis 2: Lambang Erwanto Suyajid
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Essay is a piece of paper at least three paragraph longs involving introductory paragraph, body, and concluding paragraph. It could be developed from the paragraph. However, students often get difficulties to find what they must write in their paper. Knowing that condition, the way how to get ideas could be achieved by watching film. The story â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€� broadcasted in MNCTV could be used to keep the studentsâ€™ ideas while writing. In that story, there is a genceric structure which the students could develop in writing Essay. Therefore, in this study, the researcher stated the research question: How is the unity of Essay written by the students of English Education Program through the story â€œPada zaman Dahuluâ€�. This study aims to describe how unity the studentsâ€™ essays are. The researcher uses a qualitative design to describe the data which be collected by using purposive random sampling. After doing data collection technique, the researcher analyzes the studentsâ€™ essay which got A score in their essay by using the theory of Essau unity stated by Zemach (2005:78). Result shows that the studentsâ€™ Essays have good unity that could be reflected from the ideas connections each others. All the ideas written by the students were connected to the thesis statement and the supporting ideas in the main body have connections with the topic sentence. So, it could be concluded that the story â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€� could keep the studentsâ€™ ideas while writing an Essay. So, the studentsâ€™ ability in creating an essay depends on the way how they gather the ideas to arrange in a proper components of Essay.
Keywords: Essay, unity, students, writing
Esai adalah serangkian tulisan yang memiliki panjang sedikitnya tiga paragraf. Dalam Esai melibatkan paragraf pengantar, batang tubuh, dan paragraf penutup. Hal ini bisa dikembangkan dari sebuat paragraf tunggal. Namun, mahasiswa sering mengalami kesulitan untuk menemukan apa yang harus mereka tulis di kertas mereka. Mengetahui kondisi tersebut, pemerolehan ide diperoleh melalui sebuah ceritaÂ dalam bentuk film. Cerita “Pada Zaman Dahulu” yang disiarkan di MNCTV agar bisa digunakan untuk menyimpan gagasan setiap mahasiswa saat menulis. Â Dalam cerita itu, terdapat susunan komponen cerita yang bisa dikembangkan mahasiswa dalam menulis. Oleh karena itu, dalam penelitian ini, peneliti merumuskan pertanyaan penelitiannya: Bagaimana satu kesatuan ide Esai yang ditulis oleh mahasiswa Program Pendidikan Bahasa Inggris melalui cerita “Pada zaman Dahulu”. Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk mendeskripsikan bagaimana satu kesatuan esai yang di tulis oleh mahasiswa. Peneliti menggunakan desain kualitatif untuk menggambarkan data yang dikumpulkan dengan menggunakan purposive random sampling. Setelah melakukan teknik pengumpulan data, peneliti menganalisis esai mahasiswa yang mendapat nilai A dalam esai mereka dengan menggunakan teori satu kesatuan ide yang dinyatakan oleh Zemach (2005: 78). Hasil penelitian menunjukkan bahwa Essay yang ditulis mahasiswa memiliki satu kesatuan yang baik. Hal ini dapat tercermin dari gagasan ada saling keterkaitan satu sama lain. Semua gagasan yang ditulis oleh mahasiswa dikaitkan dengan thesis statement dan gagasan pendukung di batang tubuh esai sudah terkait dengan kalimat utamanya. Jadi, bisa disimpulkan bahwa cerita “Pada Zaman Dahulu” bisa digunakan sebagai alternative materi ajar agar mahasiswa mampu menyimpan ide-ide mereka saat menulis sebuah Essay. Jadi, kemampuan mahasiswa dalam menciptakan esai bergantung pada bagaimana mereka mengumpulkan gagasan untuk disusun dalam komponen Essay yang tepat.
Kata kunci: esai, satu kesatuan ide, mahasiswa, menulis
BACKGROUND OF STUDY
The structure of the essay consists of three elements. They are introductory paragraphs, body, and closing paragraphs. Introduction is an essential part of an essay. It will obviously increase the reader’s interest to complete in reading the whole essay or not. Conversely, boredom will occur if in the introductory paragraph is not able to make the readers interest in that session. Basically, the introduction contains the topics what the author writes. The ideas written in the introductory paragraph provides an overview of the ideas or arguments to be written on the contents of the essay. The most important element in the introductory paragraph is the thesis statement. It serves as a controller of an idea to be delivered in the body of the essay.
In the body of the essay, the author is able to develop ideas based on the thesis statement stated at the end of the introductory paragraph. In this section, the author can transfer or his ideas more than one paragraph. The author can express ideas related to the thesis statement he/she has made. Moreover, the reader will know what will be conveyed by the author. However, some authors do not pay attention to the development of ideas in the body. There are several sentences that have no connection with the thesis statement. The body of the essay will consist of many ideas that can make the reader confused. This phenomenon may reflect that the author loses the focus or the topic when writing or lacking ideas. Therefore, there are a lot of studentsâ€™ essay which have more repetition of ideas.
The last element is the conclusion paragraph. In this section, the authors can provide comments or summaries for the entire essay. However, some authors often make concluding paragraph by using a single sentence. It should be more than one sentence because the paragraph is a set of sentences that are interconnected each others. In addition, the author is also able to provide an assessment or opinion of the phenomenon that occurs in an essay that has been written in the whole of essay.
Based on the above background, the researcher wants to follow up more about the essay written by the students of English Education Program at PGRI Adi buana University Surabaya throught the story of â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€� broadcaster in MNCTV every morning. This teaching material contains moral. Additionally, it could be an alternative teaching material in creating an essay. Students will have many ideas to complete their Essay. Through a fairy tale, the moral message could be conveyed on their essay. Based on the background above, the researchers formulate research question; how is the unity of essay written by students of English Education Program through the story â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€�. This study aims to describe how unity of the studentsâ€™ essays is.
Writing can be defined as the ideas expressed in written language as (Tarigan, 1986: 15). According to Djago Tarin, writing means of expressing of writing ideas, ideas, opinions, or thoughts and feelings (Sumarno, 2009: 5). Sumarno (2009: 5) also expressed an opinion in the form of graphic symbol that are able to represent the language which could be understood by others. Writing can be considered as a process and a result. Additionaly, writing is an activity done by someone to produce an article, magazine, or anything to build up an opinion. According to Heaton at St. Slamet Y. (2008: 141) writing is difficult and complex skills. Semi Atar M. (2007: 14) in his book expressing the sense of writing is a creative process that moves ideas into symbols. Burhan Nurgiantoro (1988: 273) states that writing is an active productive actions which belong to the activity of language production. Based on the opinion above, it can be concluded that writing is an activity such as pouring ideas / ideas with a complex ability expressed through productive activities in the form of symbols and letters systematic numbers so that it can be understood by others.
Academic writing is an activity that aims to produce writing academically. Academic writing is a writing consisting of academics to obtain an academic degree, for example, a dissertation for a doctorate (S-3), to achieve a master’s thesis (S-2) degree, to achieve a bachelor’s degree thesis (S-1) of for publishing.
In college, the student must have the ability to write a paper because the paper must be in accordance with the terms and conditions of academic writing. Paper works on issues based on logic, literature, or facts presented at discussions, workshops, symposia, and seminars. The contents of the paper can be the idea or the author’s view of something that has not been proven through the research process or it can be written in the form of research reports, research findings that have been done by the author. By its nature, abstract writing may take the form academic writing. On the othe hand, non-academic papers are a paper made by people or students to show their understanding of the issues discussed. In this case the authors of the paper only describe various theories of flow or perspective with the problems being studied or discussed. The author generally provides feedback, criticism, or suggestions about a particular flow or opinion expressed by others, but it does not support a particular theory or opinion of others. In addition, this ordinary paper also contains a description of the policy, ideas.
On the other side, academic papers are not only used to lead a particular theory, but also to know the different views of people. Authors can support one particular flow and opinion from another, or it can make a synthesis of some of the views of others. So, in a paper like this, the writer must have the ability to perform analysis, synthesis and evaluation
Writing an Essay
An essay is a writing that consists of several paragraphs. It discusses a particular topic. The term “essay” comes from the French word, which means to try or try. Essays are an attempt to communicate information, opinions or feelings and usually present arguments about a topic. In this case, the essay is a short article that usually contains the author’s opinion on a particular topic.
What is stated in the essay is more of a personal opinion than the author. According to Indonesian dictionary Essay is a composition of brief prose expressing the author’s opinion about a particular subject. Essay is divided into three parts, namely introductory paragraph containing background information that identifies subject subject and subject introduction, essay body that presents all information about the subject, and paragraph Conclusions that give conclusions b restating the main idea or a summary of the body of the essay. Moreover, it could add some observations about the subject (Dalman, 2012: 105). Based on some opinions above, it can be concluded that the essay is a form of writing that describes the author’s opinion on a particular topic (subject) written at least three paragraphs long.
In conducting the research, descriptive qualitative was chosen as the research method. The purpose of the descriptive method itself is to obtain systematic and accurate facts. According to Flick et.al (2000: 3) qualitative research is a research procedure that drew attention to the process, which means to the pattern, and structural features.
Thus, the data in this study are described in the form of words, sentences, or paragraphs relating to text that the researchers investigated to answer the research questions listed in the previous chapter. It is about the unity of studentsâ€™ Essay through the story of â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€�. So, the qualitative descriptive method is one right approach to do this research. Sources of data in this study are the studentsâ€™ essay writing by English Education Program at the University PGRI Surabaya Adi Buana, while the data in this study are words, phrases, sentences related to the research question. The data collections have been done by using purposive random sampling. Later in the data analysis involves collecting data through the data to get a studentsâ€™ Essay whose value â€œAâ€� in writing essays monitored from the score given by their lecturer in writing class. After the data is classified, sorted, and displayed in the discussion using the assessment rubric through the study of the theory. (Zemack and Rumisek: 2005: 78) about the unity of Essay.
RESULT AND DISCUSSION
There are two main points in writing Essay related to the Unity. First, the all ideas must have the relation with the thesis statement. Second, the supporting sentences in the body paragraph have connections with the topic sentence. The first data in this research can be described as follows;
One night, Aki went home after coming to the chief of vilageâ€™s home. Aki told Puan that they had found the person who stole the rice in their village Suddenly, Ara and Aris woke up. Ara and Aris asked where Aki had been. Aki answered that he was from the chief and told them about the case in their village. Aki said to Ara and Aris that the person wo stole the rice was like a proverb â€œThe Gates Eat The Riceâ€�. Ara and Aris asked an explanation to Aki about the proverb. Aki answered that this proverb was more like a story about â€œThe Mouse Deer and The Tigerâ€� which the tiger should keep all animals save but he ate them.
The paragraph above is introductory paragraph. There are information about the names of characters, the place, and also background of story how the thesis statement was written. Thesis statement in the paragraph above tells the proverb â€œThe Gates Eat the Riceâ€� which is like a story about â€œThe Mouse deer and The Tigerâ€�. What the â€œAkiâ€� told to Ara and Aris actually the proverb which became the topic of writing. It was about the thief. Then, Aki explained the thief by using the thesis statement. It was written by the students in last sentence of introductory paragraph. Through the thesis statement written by the students, the story in the body paragraph could be known well by the reader. It was about the story of Mouse deer and the Tiger which the tiger had to keep all animals in the jungle. However, it ate all of them. In the body paragraph, the student wrote as follows;
Once upon a time, there was a hunger tiger. He had not eaten anything yet for many days. He thought he became weaker day by day. He could not even catch any animals yet. One day, when he walked around the jungle, he saw crocodiles which were about to eat a rabbit. Luckily, the tiger could catch the rabbit from crocodiles and wanted to eat the rabbit too. But, the rabbit thought that the tiger saved him. So, the rabbit asked the tiger to meet his friends. There were monkey, buffalo, deer, elephant and mouse deer. They were shocked why rabbit took tiger to their place. Rabbit explained that tiger saved him and tiger said that there was a cruel hunter in the jungle. So all of animals had to stay awake in the night. But, when all of animals slept, the deer heard something and woke up. The tiger said that it was the sound of the hunter. So, they tried to look for it. In the middle, tiger ate deer. But the rabbit saw it. Unfortunately, the tiger knew that rabbit saw him. So, the tiger threw away the rabbit into the river. In the morning tiger said to the others animals that deer and rabbit were taken by the hunter last night. He asked the others animals to spread out and asked buffalo to accompany him. In the middle, mouse deer, elephant and monkey hear rabbitâ€™s voice and they finally found him. Rabbit told them that tiger had eaten the deer. Then, mouse deer had a plan. He came to the tiger and buffalo place and told tiger that he truly found the hunter in the edge of the river. So in the edge of river, the tiger asked the mouse where the hunter was. Mouse deer answered that the hunter was the tiger. Tiger got mad and tried to beat mouse deer. Fortunately, buffalo pushed the tiger away first. Then the tiger feel down into the river and eaten by crocodiles.
The paragraph above is the body of Essay. The topic sentence of the paragraph above is telling that all of animals had to stay awake in the night because there was a cruel hunter in the jungle. The sentences written by student before the topic sentence were called by orientation which explained to the reader who, where, and when. All of ideas in orientations had connections to the topic sentence. The next sentences after topic sentence, they are called by supporting sentences in the main body. In the paragraph above, all the supporting sentences explain topic sentence about how the cruel hunter came and ate the animal one by one. One of the supporting sentences which became the key to be categorized as the resolution was about the event when the rabbit told to other animals that the tiger had eaten the deer. So the mouse deer and his friends made a plan to prove that the tiger was the real cruel hunter in the jungle. So, all the ideas in supporting sentences have connections with the topic sentence in body paragraph of Essay. The concluding paragraph was as follows;
From this story, Aki told to Ara and Aris for not being a liar just to make people believe in you or something bad would happen to you like the tiger. After lying to the others animals, the tiger was pushed away by buffalo and eaten by the crococdiles. So did the person who stole the rice in the village. He had been known by the chief and others society and he would be given punishment. Ara and Aris knew that they had to stay honestly to everyone and kept peopleâ€™s trust. â€œThe Mouse Deer and The Tigerâ€� story is really good for children to teach them what honesty is, and why we have to be an ahonest person. It also tells us to always be careful to strangers because it is dangerous to trust people we know nothing about.
In the first sentence of concluding paragraph, the student wrote the connection between telling lies would not make people believe in you like what the tiger did. The next sentences explained how the tiger had been pushed away by all animals in the jungle because of his dishonest. After telling the end of story, the student wrote the connection between the story and the real fact which was expressed through what Aki said to Ara and Ari. Aki said that the thief would be given the punishment by the society like a tiger. Then Aki also gave the moral value at the end of the concluding paragraph. It told that we had to be an honest person. From the concluding paragraph above, the student was able to create a good concluding paragraph which told the important point, restated the thesis statement, also the moral values at the end of the essay. So, it could be categorized that the unity of the Essay in the first data was good because the student was able to create the connection of all ideas with the single topic and all ideas in the supporting sentences have relations with the topic sentence.
The second Essay written by the students can be described as follows;
One day, Aris an Ara sat down together in a field to accompany Aki. Ara brought her meals and ate them little by little. And then, Aris told Ara that there was something in the sky but Ara couldnâ€™t see it. And then, Aris told Ara again that there was a rainbow but Ara couldnâ€™t see it too. After that Ara realized that her meals was reduced so she accused Aris that he has stolen her meals. Aris said he didnâ€™t eat her meals without her permission, it was because Ara herself ate them unconsciously and told Ara not to accuse him. Then, Aki came over and told Ara that Aris stole her meals. Aki said it was a bad deed and it reminded him of a story about a naughty wolf.
The paragraph above told to the reader that the topic sentence was the event when Ara realized that her meals had been reduced by Aris, then she accused her brother that he had stolen Arasâ€™ meals. Before stating the topic sentence, the student also gave the orientation about who, where, and when. All the ideas in orientation were connected to the topic sentence. After writing topic sentence, the student was also described the supporting sentences to state the thesis statement which was written in the last sentence of introductory paragraph. It means that the thesis statement was about the event when Aki said that It had been a bad deed and it had reminded him of a story about a naughty wolf. It means that the content of body could be known easily. It would tell about the naughty of the wolf which reflected the condition explained in introductory paragraph. Overall, the introductory paragraph could be written well in the unity of Essay. The body paragraph could be described as follows;
Aki told them that once upon a time there was a wolf who lived in the jungle with other animals. One day, when the wolf was walking around in the jungle, he saw a bird who hatched her eggs and then flew away to find foods. The wolf didnâ€™t want to miss this chance so he took a quick action to steal the eggs. But after he ate all that birdâ€™s eggs, he still felt hungry so he walked around again to find more eggs.
In the paragraph above, the student was able to write the orientation of the story. There wereÂ a wolf and birds in the jungle. The sentence which explained the topic sentence of essay was started from the event when the wolf stole the eggs to eat more and more because he felt hungry. The last sentence in the part of body paragraph above showed the topic sentence which gave the more information about the next events as follows;
He ate all eggs he found as soon as possible. Suddenly, a bird screamed out knowing all her eggs disappeared. The wolf shocked and hid all the eggshells into the bushes. The bird who was confused came over the wolf and she asked him if he saw her eggs, of couse he said he didnâ€™t see them. But she noticed something yellow around wolfâ€™s mouth, so she accused that the wolf has stolen her eggs.
The sentences above belonged to supporting sentences which explained the wolf ate all eggs own by the birds. Knowing that the birds could not find their eggs in the nest, the wolf was shocked and hid all the eggshells into the bushes. Those sentences showed how naughty the wolf was. Then, the wolf said to the birds that he knew nothing about their eggs in the nest whereas he had eaten all of them. However, the yellow color appeared close to wolfâ€™s mouth made the birds accuse the wolf. In the next supporting sentences could be displayed as follows;
Unfortunally, she couldnâ€™t prove anything so the wolf left and kept walking to find more victims. On the way to find eggs, the wolf met another bird that would fly to find foods. The wolf asked where her eggs were and the bird told him. After the bird flew away, the wolf tried to find the birdâ€™s eggs. He found many breeding places but they were empty. He couldnâ€™t find any eggs.
The next information written by the student as the supporting sentences in the body of paragraph, the birds did not have any strong proof to accuse the wolf. On the other hand, the wolf was hunting more and more eggs own by other birds to eat. What the wolf did made all the birds knew what they would do to trap the wolf. The next story was as follows;
The wolf was so confused and suddenly the squirrel appeared and asked the wolf if he wanted to steal birdsâ€™s eggs. The wolf said no, he said he just wanted to put the breeding places back because they felt into the ground. And then the wolf left the squirrel behind quickly because he was afraid he would be caught. And actually, the squirrel has hidden all the eggs because he knew that the wolf would steal them. After that, the squirrel told the bird about that thing and the bird said thank to the squirrel.
The information given by the student showed the reader that the squirrel saved the birdsâ€™ eggs in order to keep them well from the naughty of wolf. The Squirrel moved all eggs which would be eaten by the hungry wolf. The he told the birds that the wolf became a hunter of eggs. The information above showed how naughty the wolf was. It means that all information in supporting sentences had connection with the topic sentence in the body paragraph and also to the thesis statement written in the last sentence of introductory paragraph.
The next day, the birds gathered and talked about the naughty wolf who has stolen their eggs and they decided to ask for squirrelâ€™s help. The birds came to visit squirrel on the tree while squirrel was taking a rest. They made squirrel surprised so he accidently made a rotten egg felt into mouse deerâ€™s head who was walking. After that, the birds and squirrel told mouse deer that the wolf would definitely steal and eat their eggs again and again, so they had to do something to catch the wolf and make him admit his bad deed, give him punishment so that he would stop his bad deed. And then, they had an idea to trap the wolf and started to arrange the plan.
The information above belonged to the resolution of problem in the story. All the birds gathered to find the proof which is able to make the wolf admit his mistakes. The birds woke the squirrel up until its stick fell down on mouse deerâ€™sâ€™ head. It made the mouse deer asked to them what problem that they had. The information above could detect that the student was able to arrange the ideas smoothly. The connection of ideas were connected each others. The student also wrote that the mouse deer was able to find solution of the birdsâ€™ problems. What they planned could be described as follows;
The next morning, they put some eggs in the breeding place and left them so that the wolf could eat the eggs. They were right. Not long after that, the wolf walked around to find eggs and he was so glad to find eggs to eat. He ate one of them but he realized that its taste was really bad.
The sentences above showed to the reader what the birds, squirrel, and mouse deer planned to the naughty wolf. The birds put the rotten eggs in the nest in order to know the wolfâ€™s reactions what he would do. What the birds accused to the wolf was really occurred. The wolf ate the rotten eggs which were put in the nest by the birds. In the next sentences the student was also able to write the wolfâ€™s reluctant to escape from the problems.
Suddenly he got stomachache as soon as he finished eating the egg. He screamed out because he couldnâ€™t help himself of pain. Then, the birds, squirrel, and mouse deer appeared and told him what he has eaten was a rotten egg. They could prove that the wolf was the thief that has stolen birdsâ€™s eggs. At first, the wolf still didnâ€™t want to admit his bad deed so the squirrel told him not to hide behind his point finger. The birds started to hit the wolf in order to make him admit and stop his bad deed. Then, the wolf admitted his deed and promised not to do it anymore. They felt happy especially the birds that could fly to find food without being worry about their eggs anymore.
The paragraph about was the body of Essay. In the beginning of the story, the student wrote the orientation of the story about who, where, and when. The topic sentence of the body automatically described the thesis statement about the naughty wolf stated in the last sentence of introductory paragraph. The most general statement which reflected the naughty wolf was the event when the wolf didnâ€™t want to miss this chance so he took a quick action to steal the eggs. This statement encouraged the next events would come after. The next event occurred after the wolf had stolen the eggs, he tried to find the other eggs in the nest because he was still hungry. He ate more and more eggs. This statement invited the reactions from the other animals especially the birds who owed the eggs. After topic sentences, the student wrote the phenomenon about the reactions. The owner of eggs came then they looked at the wolf about the losing eggs. However, the wolf said that he didnâ€™t know what they were looking for. The student was able to arrange the ideas in a good unity from the orientation of the story, then complication, and also resolution which the wolf was trapped by birds, squirrel, and mouse deer to eat the rotten eggs. The student could give the moral message which was stated in the concluding paragraph as follows;
That was Aki told to Aris and Ara, And then, they went home from the field by bicycle. After they arrived at home, Aris asked Aki what was the meaning of hiding behind the point finger because Aris couldnâ€™t understand it. So Aki told him that it was a proverb and its meaning was someone who wants to hide a secret while everyone has already known about it. Ara said that it was like her brother, Aris, who has eaten her meals without her permission and he didnâ€™t want to admit it eventhough Ara and Aki have known it. So Aris promised not to do it anymore and he will ask for Araâ€™s permission if he want her meals
The paragraph above gave the information what Aki talked about the story of the naughty wolf. He gave more meaning to the proverb which reflected the story of naughty wolf. Additionally, he also gave the real example to his grand children that taking someoneâ€™s meals without permission as the hiding behind the point finger. It symbolizes the wolf which could receive the punishment after doing the bad actions or deeds to other animals. Based on the second data, the student could make a good unity in the content of whole essay. The connections of ideas were reflected on the supporting sentences and topic sentence, while the all ideas were able to give more detail information about thesis statement. The next Essay written by other student was as follows;
The title of the third data was about the Lion and Mouse.
One day Aris and Ara will be picked up by his parents to go home. They walk down his grandfatherâ€™s house and remember every moment and goodness his grandfather has done to him. They saw memories with his grandfather in every corner of the house.
In introductory paragraph above, there was no significant background why their grandfather told a story. He told the story because his grandchildren asked him to avoid the boredom waiting their parents went home. The topic sentence in the paragraph above was the event when they saw memories in every corner of the house. That sentence could bring their memories to the story which had been told by their grandfather while waiting their parents to pick them up. The sentences before the topic sentences were called by the orientation to introduce the reader about who, where, and when.Â In the next sentences, there were gaps of ideas written by the students as follows;
Upon reading the house they meet grandfather and they give the plants for the gift to his grandfather, Aris tells the plant that he planted with his grandfather died..
The sentences above were difficult to understand by the reader. It would make the reader confused about what Aris did to his grandfather. That sentence actually was expressed to show the gift in the form of plants for his grandfather in order to keep a good memory. Aris felt that his grandfather had given him much goodness and memories. However, the ideas could not be arranged well. On the other hand, the student was able to write the thesis statement in the last sentence of introductory paragraph as follows;
While waiting for their parents to arrive, they ask their grandfather to tell a story. And his grandfather told of lions and mouse. This story tells about a mouse that always remembers the virtues of a lion who had let go of a mouse when it was about to be eaten
In the last sentence, the ideas in the body of paragraph could be known well. It had to be virtues of a lion to the mouse. So the student could write the thesis statement in a proper place. That was in the last sentence of introductory paragraph. Overall, what the student wrote in introductory paragraph could arrange the sentences into a paragraph. However, there were some information which could not be expressed well because of the inappropriate vocabularies used. The next paragraph could be expressed as follows;
In ancient times, life was a arrogant lion. The lion comes and approaching the mouse deer, the mouse deer was scared and runs away because he thinking the lion will eat it but the mouse walk while singing to the lionâ€™s bed, and the mouse deer prevented the mice from walking there, and told the mouse to keep quiet so the lion did not wake up. Then mouse asked the mouse deer, What is a lion? And after the mouse deer explains that the lion is a ferocious animal like a tiger, the mouse really scared. And walked very slowly as it passed the lionsâ€™ bed, but the mouse accidentally dropped the fruit and when the lion moved his hand fell right on the fruitâ€™s. The mouse were startled and screams. The screams of the mouse made the lions the lions wake up. The lion was angry and was about to eat the mouse.
The paragraph above was the body of paragraph in Essay. In the beginning of the paragraph the student wrote the orientation of the story starting from who, when , and where. It could be known that there were characters of a lion, a mousedeer, and a mouse. In the beginning of the story the mouse deer tried unintentionally approached the arrogant lion. He was afraid if the the lion would eat him. At that time the mouse was walking and singing to go to the sleeping lion. So the mouse deer prevented him directly in order to keep the lion slept. Unfortunately, the while telling how the lion was, the mouse dropped the fruit into the lionâ€™s hand then the mouse scream loudly. His screaming made the lion get up. The last sentence became the topic sentence of the body paragraph because it could bring the next story when the lion got up and felt angry to the mouse. The next sentences as the supporting sentences could be described as follows;
However, the mouse deer prevents the lion and told that the mouse is a small animal, and the lion will not be full when eating a mouse. But lions still want to eat, mouse crying and apologizing, finally lions let go of mouse. Mouse are very happy and said that one day mouse will also help lion if lion need help, the lion laugh very loudly. He thought that it was impossible to need help from a small animal. No longer after the mouse and mouse deer left, there was a hunter who tried to release his arrows to the lion. The lion ran and escaped, the lion was very tired and hungry after runningÂ and when met with the mouse deer, the lion intend to eat it. When the mouse deer realized that, the mouse deer running and the lion chasing mouse deer.
The sentences above showed to the reader that virtues of lion to the mouse which belonged to the small animals. Although the lion ate it, he would not be full. Then, The lion let the mouse go away. The arrogant of lion was reflected when he heard the mouse deerâ€™s statement that one day the mouse would be able to help you. He said to the mouse deer that how the small animal could help the strong one like him. Hearing that statement he laughed. In a short time, the lion realized that there was a hunter who released the arrow to the lion. So, he ran away until he felt hungry. Because of that condition, he wanted to eat the mouse deer. Unfortunately, the lion stepped on a trap while running to catch the mouse deer. So, the lion need the mouse deerâ€™s help. From the background event, the virtues of the lion worked. It could be known from the sentences as follows;
Lions asked the mouse deer, the lion to help but mouse deer refused because the lion wants to eat it. The mouse deer turned and intend to leave the lion. But the lion cried and apologized to the mouse deer, the lion said that he once released the mouse deer when about to eat it. The mouse deer felt pity and try to help the lion, but the mouse deer can not. Finally the deer thinking the idea to be able to help the lion, mouse deer go looking for mouse and tell everything to mouse. The mouse agreed, then they went to see the lion. But when it comes to help, the lion dismisses the mouse by saying that the mouse deer should not ask for help to a small animal like a mouse. And after that the mouse knew how to save the lion by biting the net.
The sentences above showed to the reader that the mouse deer had an idea to invite the mouse to help the lion by giving one requirement that the lion would not eat the mouse deer after having free from the trap. So the lion agreed what the mouse deer asked. Then the mouse deer thought to solve the problem. Finally the mouse deer asked the mouse to come the place where the lion got a trap. After looking at the trap, the mouse had a way to free the lion by biting the net. So the lion could be free. Those supporting sentences written by the student chronologically could be arranged well. All the ideas in supporting sentences bring the virtues of lion which was able to help him. The next sentences could be described as follows;
Finally the mouse did and the lion was amazed. The lion never thought that a mouse would save his life. The lion hugged a mouse and said that he would also saved a mouse if a mouse needs help. No longer after that there were hunters trying to shoot them. With gallant lions lifted a mouse and put a mouse on his back, then the lion ran to save himself and also the mouse. Since than they always try to help each other.
The supporting sentences showed that the lion was amazed to what the mouse did. He had saved him from the trap. The lion never underestimated anymore to the small animals. His arrogant would bring the lion into his difficulty. No longer after having free, there was a hunter who tried to shoot the lion. So, He put the mouse on his back an ran quickly. From the story above, it could be detected that there were connections between the supporting sentences and the topic sentence. Additionally, the all of ideas described the thesis statements which talked about the virtues of the lion. In the concluding paragraph, the students wrote the sentences as follows;
After telling the story to Aris and Ara, grandpa conveid the moral value and the story that had just been told with the proverb â€œHabis badan dikandung muka, budi baik dikenang jugaâ€� The meaning of his proverb is never reluctant to help others. Because when we do a virtue any time, even though we are dead, our good will be remembered and someday when we need help from others, we will also get help as we help others. Aris and Ara finally understood the reason why they are very comfortable and always remember every moment with his grandfather. The reason was that his grandfather was very good people. And Aris understood the reason why the plants that he planted did not grow, because he did not treat the plants well. After they finished telling, their parents came and invited them to go home.
The concluding paragraph above gave the important points especially which were stated in the body of essay. Aki interpreted the meaning of the proverb that the goodness would bring good memories for someone else. This condition was also reflected in the background of the story at the introductory paragraph. At that time, the aries wanted to remember the goodness of his grandfather before his parents picked him up. Overall, the Essay which was written by the student had a good unity in Essay. The development of the paragraph into an Essay could be explored well especially for the ideas which could have connections each others to build up the single topic.
Making an Essay needs a long procedure which the student must do. Creating a good essay automatically must fulfill some criteria. According to Zemach (2005: 78) Unity in writing is the connection of all ideas to a single topic, while in Essay, the unity could be detected to the connection between supporting sentences and topic sentence in the body of paragraph in Essay. Additionally, all ideas could be bring to the development of the thesis statement. It means that there are some guidance and ways that the students know how to develop a paragraph into a good unity of essay.
The three essays written by the students of English Education Program in Writing I Class could be reflected how important the ideas were in developing of Essay. The students got the ideas by watching the film â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€� downloaded from youtube. Those ideas were transferred into the written cycle. So the students made a simple single paragraph which started from the problem, then it was developed by using the solution of the problem in that film. The first Essay written by the student was the story about the mouse deer and the tiger. The second essay was about the naughty wolf, and the last essay was about the lion and the mouse. All their essays could build up a good unity of Essay. All ideas have connections with the thesis statement, and the supporting ideas in the main body should relate to the topic sentence. In the developing of Essay, they changed and put the topic sentence of the single paragraph into a thesis statement which was written in the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. Then, they added the more ideas as the background to make the strong thesis statement. What the students did in the body paragraph was developing the thesis statements as detail as they could add the information so far there were connections with the thesis statement. Unintentionally, the students were able to create topic sentence and supporting sentences each paragraph. Additionally, in concluding paragraph, the students were also able to restated the information which reflected the important points in the body of paragraph or gave commands or moral messages in every story they delivered in their writing.
Overall, the Unity of Essay could be achieved when the students have more ideas to write. So far they know the procedure how to gather ideas, arranged the ideas well, write the ideas in a clear and logical way, review, and revise their writing, their Essay could have a good in unity. Studentsâ€™ mistakes often occurred to the tenses, and correct use of parts of speech. Their problems could be solved by doing some review and revised to the structure and contents of essay they made.
Connections of Ideas are the main point to look at the unity of Students Essay. The connection of all ideas to the thesis statement and also the supporting sentences with the topic sentence in body paragraph become the measurement how strong or weak the essay is about. Therefore, outline of Essay is needed to prepare after watching â€œPada Zaman Dahuluâ€� to determine the component of paragraph, then it develops into an essay which at least involves introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs.
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